


next morning

by gekijougai



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Punk Rock, Unhealthy Relationships, punk rock UR set au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gekijougai/pseuds/gekijougai
Summary: Ruby leaves first.
Relationships: Kurosawa Ruby/Tsushima Yoshiko
Kudos: 18





	next morning

**Author's Note:**

> in the mood to hurt. made this quickly.

Ruby was kissed before their gig and it went on from there.

The high of it was replaced by the adrenaline on stage as she and Yoshiko filled the place with the sound of their guitars, yelling and singing into the mic and wanting to hear the crowd even if they couldn’t hear their own voices. The moment they went backstage, they locked their lips together. It was masked with the sweat of the performance, the stickiness of their lip gloss, and the sweetness of Yoshiko’s bubblegum.

Ruby felt elated, like she was floating, rising and up and up and up and it was Yoshiko who went back to hold her to keep her around. Inevitably it was her who made her crash, the bliss of the night and the afterglow waning over her senses.

Ruby thought this wasn’t a good idea. They met a few weeks ago in the same place, found out they could work together, and it should have been that.

The other girl seemed to think the same, but she clearly didn’t care the moment she kissed Ruby. 

To be fair, Ruby didn’t even stop her, but even the dread in her guts didn’t do anything to overpower the urge to kiss her back. So she kissed her back.

Sometimes they’d sneak backstage to throw in a couple more “sessions.” It got dangerous when Yoshiko started lifting up her skirt. Ruby told her that’s for later.

They’d end up in each other’s apartments after their gigs. It would go too fast every time, falling to the couch, though they’d get lucky when they reach the bedroom. Ruby would get annoyed when her garments would get ripped because Yoshiko was over enthusiastic, so she’d do it in return. She’d never tell her she enjoys it, so she silently lets her do it while she pushes off her clothing off of her.

The next morning, Ruby would leave first, as she always woke up first. Maybe cook a simple breakfast for her as simple thanks. Yoshiko never bothered to wake up, even when Ruby showers, cooks, or fix herself up. Yoshiko would only wake up only after Ruby left.

“Your place, or mine?”

“Yours.”

Ruby liked being in Yoshiko’s place more, because then Yoshiko wouldn’t have traces behind when  she  would leave. She didn’t like it when Yoshiko would leave things. She only liked it when Yoshiko left her marks.

Ruby hates those nights. She hates performing underground, and she hates the gigs. She didn’t like the sticky feeling of fatigue and sweat every time she fell down from the high of performing. She only wanted to be with Yoshiko, as if some sense of grounding. 

“You hate it here and you’re still not stopping.” Yoshiko says to her.

Because I don’t want to stop even though it won’t last,  Ruby thinks.

“Well if you’re going to stay at least do better instead of wasting my time.”

The words don’t hurt, even if it should. Ruby has heard them all before and she’s quite used to it. So, she sucks it up and does better anyway, because she always has better luck when she stays her place and let others lead for her. She does what she’s told and the night went better, but Yoshiko got angry because  _ what the hell is wrong with you Ruby? Why don’t you talk to me?!  _

“Leave me alone,” Ruby says, but Yoshiko doesn’t leave her alone. She doesn’t know how to. Yoshiko grabs her by the shoulders, frustrated and annoyed. Ruby is scared but she doesn’t say anything.

“I hate you,” Ruby says instead. Funnily enough, they sleep together on the same bed, falling asleep while staring into each other’s eyes. 

The next morning, Ruby woke Yoshiko up by kissing her. They said nothing after that.

Ruby leaves first, as always. It was convenient. 

And Ruby put up with it, even if it meant being with Yoshiko. Clearly they don’t share the same thoughts about being in the music scene. Yoshiko’s more into it, and Ruby would rather be in other places. She always wanted what others wanted. If it meant getting their approval, to have them look their way, Ruby would endure it.

It’s not long before glasses would break and the shouting would get them a noise complaint. They’re too different, too stubborn, and worst of all too in love. Ruby knew this was doomed from the start, but she loved the kisses and she loved the nights and she hates the gigs but she loves the adrenaline. 

She’s not sure if she‘s in love with Yoshiko or if she’s in love with the way it makes her feel. They never really said anything about it. 

So Ruby left the next morning after she slept on the couch. She deserved it. She’ll find a way to pay for the glass, but right now she just wanted to get away because it’s all stupid and wrong and they shouldn’t be fighting but they are. She hates it, she hates Yoshiko. 

Ruby has hated Yoshiko for kissing her even if it felt good. She hated herself for letting Yoshiko take her and undo her until she was shaking and holding on to her. There was no one else to hold on to. 

Maybe her sister was right. Maybe she should have gone back and work for the family instead of leaving. Then again she hated it there. She was suffocated, and she loved her sister but she really hates it there. Ruby didn’t go back, so she goes into another bar for the night, where no one knew her.

“You’re new around here,” says the girl with the silvery hair and blue eyes. Yes she is. She’s not going to elaborate. Can I buy you a drink? Thank you. You have great eyes. Can I kiss you? Yes, please.

She feels good kissing her. She smells like the ocean and mint candy and her touches are gentle. She feels weird when her hands wrap around Ruby’s waist, unlike all the time Yoshiko touched her the same way. Swaying, silent, comforting. It’s good. This is good. Ruby feels dizzy from the alcohol, not used to drinking alcohol. The girl offers to take her home.

It feels horrible.

“No. I’m sorry.”

She lets her go and the girl leaves, apologizing to her. Ruby sits and wants the warmth back. She wants the touches back. She wants to feel good again and she wants to feel the giddy feeling of it all over again. 

(Maybe the girl could have given it to her, but it’s too late now.)

“Yoshiko,” Ruby says to her phone, clutching her hair. “Take me back. Please.”

Yoshiko would. Ruby knew she would. She thinks Yoshiko is an idiot for doing so.

Ruby meets up with Yoshiko, and she stays at her place. Ruby kisses her, and Yoshiko doesn’t push her away. They go deeper, until Ruby is pushed to the counter while Yoshiko peppers her neck and chest with kisses and marks.

But it’s clearly going no where. Ruby feels too empty to even respond to her touches. Yoshiko stops and stares into her face, before dragging her into her room, hand in hand. Her fingers are cold. Ruby feels clammy. Even then, the touch is warm and she wishes she’s feeling it on her waist, her body, the same way the girl in the bar held her.

They push to strip each other off, but Yoshiko collapses after it instead. Ruby follows suit and opted to rest her head on Yoshiko’s chest, hearing her calm heartbeat and the soft sounds of her breathing.

“I don’t love you, you know.” Yoshiko says like she’s spitting venom.

“I know.” Ruby laughs bitterly.

The next morning, Ruby leaves first once again.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry yoshiruby i just love angst


End file.
